6 months

6 months! 6 months ago I stepped off the plane in Juan Santa María airport and looked around at what would become my new home. Other big events in my life did not last six months:
Semester abroad in Sydney = 5 months
Semester in college = 4 months
Summer jobs/internships = 2.5 months
Longest time I´ve ever gone without seeing my Dad and brothers = oh wait, that was a year...

Time has really gone by really quickly, even though not every day has passed by at that speed (there are moments that are very slow). One of the things I've realized is how much I depend on seasons to give my year a pattern. Even though we have the rainy season and the dry here, there is no seasons. I still think of all my friends in the US and Spain as being in the middle of the winter since I left Boston in a blizzard and the weather has not changed here since I arrived.

Last week we had a volunteer training service in the capital, where I got the opportunity to see, talk, hang out and dance with all the amazing friends that the other Peace Corps volunteers/Tico 20 have become (I have NO clue what I would do without them) At one point, one of my friends asked a group of us if we had noticed ourselves changing in any way. Some of the things that came to mind for me:

- This is something that I've been thinking about/working through for quite some time, but it has been maximized here, which is the issue of worth and where do I find my value. I admit that I have drunk the coolaid that says that you are what you do, that by being productive and busy you bring meaning to your life and you prove that you are valuable. But I do not want this to be the way I live my life! I do not want to place my worth on if I am accomplishing different arbitrary goals or simply if I am running around like a crazy person with different activities all day. As a volunteer if I got all my validation from how busy and productive I felt I would be severely depressed. Not because I don't do anything but because the rhythm of life is extremely different. I am constantly waiting upon other people, going to meetings that no one thought to tell the gringa that they were cancelled, and proposing projects to people that simply put obstacles as to why it will not work. Also, so much of my 'job' is to simply talk and interact with people, have a cafecito, or draw with some kids. Sounds amazing? It is, but it is hard to see in the US standard of performance what I am doing to contribute. So am I cured from the performance drive? Ummm... Cornell/US/type A traits are extremely strong, but they are definitely being challenged (and all for the better)

- Something else I had been considering and have considered before is how I become judgmental of 'judgmental people' Arg!! Pathetic, but true. Why do I think that MY ideas are the ones that are correct or that my cultural framework is the one worth replicating? I don't want to sound like I'm trying to make a little America in my community, because I am not, but it is so true that I do look at events happening around me through my cultural perspective (impossible not to) and I don't always take the time to step back and simply see the differences. Many times I jump into the judge's seat even though in many instances different does not mean better or worse, simply different.

I´m sure there are others, some as simple as getting tanner or not being as bothered by insects any more, but this is what I could come up with at the moment.